AKA William

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Even while I’m watching TV, I’m laughing, sighing, making black-girl-in-the-movie-theatre comments alone, I’m sharing the whole experience with no one other than the voices in my head. I like those guys. We can always have a good time. Why do I forget about them and spend so much of my life, running around without checking in with myself like that?

I think this was always the case and why I always enjoyed being sick, or rather, staying home from school to fake sick. As a child, I never got really sick. I mean, I had the chicken pox, but I can only remember once or twice when I actually had a fever and felt like crap. Still, I reasoned that I deserved the time off that the rest of the little germ-monkeys got, so playing it by ear, several times over the course of each school year, I’d decide in the morning that I wasn’t going to school that day. And I’d usually make it at least two days, if not three, because it seemed more legit, plus I invariably felt the first day went by too fast and I needed more time. I would stay in bed acting ill, which was easy because I’ve always had allergies and who doesn’t feel kind of crappy on a school morning? Once my parents were gone for the day, I’d be up roaming around the house, looking through the garage, making elaborate lunches, baking, etc.

Now I never would do this while in rehearsal for a play, but I certainly called in sick to my share of waiting-tables and temp jobs. One time, when I was working at a short-lived Brazilian fusion restaurant in the Flat Iron district, Caviar & Bananas, I got really sick, but was afraid to take time off because I needed the tip money so badly. The sexy Brazilians I worked with told me to eat raw jalapeno peppers and garlic, claiming this fiery appetizer-from-Hell would burn the sickness right out of me. Desperate, I actually heeded their advice and I remember feeling significantly better. It didn’t hurt to feel like I shared the fiery hot-hotness of the Brazilians. So what if my mouth and throat were on fire and I smelled really bad? Blame it on Rio!