Since news broke of an ethics investigation and his resignation last week, Massa’s launched himself on a media blitz to clear his name. On one radio appearance, he insisted that Democrats were forcing him out because he opposed their version of health care reform. He also recalled a time when, stark naked in the Congressional gym, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel tried to lobby him. “I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.” It’s kind of a hot image for the gays, perhaps, but definitely paints Emanuel, and by extension his boss, Barack Obama, look like bullies

In addition to targeting the White House, Massa then urged Fox News listeners to get the network to bring him on. So they did. Because, you know, now Massa and the right have a common enemy: the White House, and the Democrat last night sat face-to-face with Glenn Beck. It was, in a word, a disaster.

The encounter began with Massa admitting he did, in fact, “grope” a male staffer. Said the 50-year old, “Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.” Happy birthday, indeed! Massa then attempted to justify his actions by comparing them to the normal antics one has long seen in the Navy. He even produced a book of Navy “crossing the line” rituals, which he compared to an orgy scene from the legendarily adult epic Caligula.

Such antics aren’t rare, he says, and are quite common when ships cross the equator. He learned all about it during his 80s-era stint in the Navy, which he described over the weekend, “We took the Pollywogs — those who had never crossed the line. They went through chutes full of garbage, many of them naked. They had to stick their faces in the crotches of the holy crew — the guys that come aboard from King Triton.” They also had a drag contest, and describes the Navy in those days as “incredibly bawdy.” Such tales are now a cornerstone of his self-defense. Sadly for Massa, Beck wasn’t quite feeling it, and wondered why Massa couldn’t offer proof of administrative peer pressure. Massa’s love affair with the conservative set, it seems, came to an end right then and there. But his publicity tour didn’t stop there, nor did Massa’s bizarre antics.

Larry King hosted Massa last night and got straight to the point by asking “Are you gay?” Massa scoffed, “Here’s my answer, I’m not going to answer that. In the year 2010? Why don’t you ask my wife, ask my friends. Ask the 10,000 sailors I served with in the Navy.” Um, well, because we’re pretty sure we know what those seamen would say…

Massa then became even haughtier, questioning King’s question itself, which he claims, “insults every gay American.” I’m not necessarily offended by having Massa as part of our ranks. Would I welcome him with open arms? No, because he seems like a mad man. But, if he’s gay, he should just own up to it, like poor anti-gay Republican Roy Ashburn, rather than attempting to play a game of moral superiority. And that’s just part of his game. [Update: The more allegations about Massa that come out, the more distance I want between Massa and our communities]

The most intriguing part of Massa’s public disintegration isn’t his recollection of Navy homoeroticism, but how he’s bending the political and sexual spectrum. Politically speaking, Massa’s trying to play for both teams: he’s trumpeting his Democratic ideals, telling King that he’s a “proud Democrat” from a traditionally Republican area, while simultaneously propositioning the right, whom he assumes can help turn him into a folk hero of sorts: David v. Goliath and all that. I doubt it will work. If nothing else, perhaps Massa will help us all reevaluate America’s sexual politics, especially with regard to the armed services.

Social conservatives are currently rallying to keep Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in place. Allowing openly gay people to serve in the military would weaken military readiness and threatens the military’s very moral fabric. From Massa’s telling, that fabric’s been bulging and straining against homoeroticism since time immemorial. In addition to opening Americans’ eyes on how our Navy acts in private, Massa’s tales show how weak the barriers between “gay” and “straight” can become.It’s no secret that the Navy’s sexual boundaries are fluid, at best. The Duke Journal of Gender Law and Policy noted in 2002:

An old saying among heterosexual sailors is “it’s only queer if you’re tied to the pier,” indicating that homosexual sex is acceptable if women are unavailable. In modern Navy slang the term “sea pussy” is used for homosexual sex among “supposedly straight sailors, taking a walk on the wild side during extended cruises.”

In telling his story about the 1983 Navy drag ball, Massa explains, “We had been at sea for four months.” The men, then, were simply looking to spill a little sexual frustration. Considering Massa’s recollection, something tells me more than a little may have been spilled that night.

Massa’s story had potential to move sexual politics forward. Sadly, though, his antics are making him look more like a delusional monster than a bastion of progress. I suppose that’s what’s most insulting about questions regarding his sexuality: they paint gays as bunch of crotch-grabbers who can’t keep our hands to ourselves.

Image via San Francisco Chronicle, of course, which has former seamen Bob Bragman’s collection of “crossing the line” rituals. They’re safe for work, but actually quite hot.