We heard that while Massa was showering at the gym, Rahm Emanuel — with “not even with a towel wrapped around his tush” — came up to Massa and poked him in the chest and yelled at him. (Which sounds kind of like this.)

Then we learned that Massa offered to “frak” a male staffer at a wedding and then tousled the staffer’s hair. Now, I’m all for “Battlestar Galactica” references so this kind of tugged at my heartstrings. The staffer must have been less of a geek because he accused Massa of sexual harassment, which triggered the probe leading to Massa’s resignation.

However, just this morning, I learned that during the Persian Gulf during the first Iraq War Massa faced misconduct allegations for offering to give a handjob to a shipmate while on watch duty. How do we know this? Um, Massa detailed the experience in a radio interview on Sunday.

Jonathan Capehart writes in the Washington Post:

Massa shared this story about watch duty on a ship in the Persian Gulf during the first Iraq War. (skip up to 13:47 for this one.) The quarters were tight. “You literally can’t move two people in that room without getting into each other’s knickers,” he said. One night he came back early only to find “[T]he other gentleman was busy remembering his spouse,” he said euphemistically. “Instead of embarrassing him, I smacked him on the leg and said, ‘If you need any help with that let me know.’ and I went to bed.” That proved a bit much for the roommate. “He was so hideously embarrassed he moved out of the stateroom because he couldn’t take it. Ladies and gentlemen, we were at sea for four months.”

I totally get it. Four months at sea, and I’d be offering the very same kind of relief.

And check this out. Massa is going to be on Glenn Beck’s show for the entire hour. While on the show, Massa is sure to detail his claim that he was squeezed out of Congress because, as he puts it, “Mine is now the deciding vote on the health care bill and this administration and this House leadership have said, quote-unquote, they will stop at nothing to pass this health care bill, and now they’ve gotten rid of me and it will pass. You connect the dots.”