How To: Do Yourself

selfAfter perusing A Good Stiff One alone, you might start wishing you could take care of your own business. Ever tried, but couldn’t quite make it? Ever not try, but secretly want to? Ever try and fail miserably and seriously injure yourself in the process, like one of my good friends whose name I am trying not to type right now? Well, College Sex Advice tells you everything you need to know about How to Suck Your Own Dick, safely and effectively [site NSFW]. In fact, with these tips you might end up like the Nip/Tuck guy who couldn’t keep his mouth off his own junk:

You’ve Got to Flex It:
Unless you were born double-jointed or have been practicing yoga for the last 10 years, it will probably take some time and practice to get your dick and your mouth to meet up.

Get in Position
The easiest and probably most effective position for autofellatio is lying on your back. You’ll probably want to use a bed, sofa, or other cushioned surface for comfort, although practicing on a carpeted floor can sometimes give you better leverage.


Stretch before your session; make sure you stretch the muscles of your back, neck, and legs to avoid cramping or pulled muscles.

Drink plenty of water to keep your muscles hydrated; this also prevents cramping, injuries, and fatigue.

Make sure your stomach is empty

Don’t strain yourself and stop if you feel any pain.

Vary positions to avoid putting too much strain or pressure on the same muscles and parts of your spine.

If At First You Don’t Succeed . . .
Don’t be disappointed if you can’t get your mouth on your cock the first time you try autofellatio. Self-sucking doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It can take discipline and practice, but as you keep at it, you will become more flexible. We think that with practice and stretching, most guys should be able to at least make some mouth-to-cock contact. If nothing else, practicing self-sucking will make you more flexible and possibly increase your overall well-being.

OK, Now What?
Once you’ve got your dick in your mouth, what do you do? Even if you don’t have cocksucking experience, we assume most of you won’t have much trouble figuring this one out.

Check out all of the tips on How to Suck Your Own Dick [site NSFW].

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4 Responses to “How To: Do Yourself”

  1. Not So Glamorous
    March 3, 2009 at 11:57 am #

    Is it wrong that I am totally willing to host a party where men try this out? If I rearrange the furniture, I have quite a bit of floor space. I’m thinking “autofellate-jitos” or “suck-your-own-cosmos”. With the right ad on craigslist, we could make this happen.

  2. AKAWilliam
    March 3, 2009 at 12:51 pm #

    Not only is it not wrong, it could be very very right. Even better? You can join in, too! From the same people, here’s How To Lick Your Own Clit.

    We might not even need that ad — I’ve already gotten a few demo offers . . . .

  3. brad
    April 1, 2010 at 5:56 am #

    hi…i want to suck my hot babies but i cant seem to can u give me advice pleas

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