Poor Lindsay Lohan hasn’t had a piece of good news in months. The headlines are either about her upcoming role as Linda Lovelace, the script of which is suspect, or the fact that she’s yet again violated her probation with drink and/or drugs.
Before this spate of stories, there were countless column inches devoted to her overwrought relationship with Sam Ronson and Lohan’s lesbian ways. Gone are the days when Lohan walked among the A-List. She’s bottom B, at best. And if rumors about her love lift indicate the lesbian era has passed. So, what do LGBT communities do with a fair-weather ally like Lohan?
When Lohan first started “dating” Ronson, I dismissed it as a publicity stunt. Or maybe just a short-lived exploration of the Island of Lesbos. Then the relationship went on, and on, and the gossip tales were too numerous to avoid. Even if she didn’t describe herself as a lesbian, Lohan fit herself quite firmly into the queer abstract. “I don’t want to classify myself,” said the actress, “I appreciate people, and it doesn’t matter who they are, and I feel blessed to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself that I can say that. For better or for worse, the 23-year old did her part to open people’s eyes about fluid sexuality and gender-blind love.
Yet LGBT communities don’t really want her. And who can blame them? She’s not the most desirable face for “gay.” If the papers are to be believed, she’s an irrepressible fuck up who doesn’t even try to get her shit together. She’s definitely not A-Gay material.
I wonder if Lohan could be saved by some tough love. What we need is to find Lohan a maternal, but no nonsense, lesbian to set her straight. Rather than shunning Lohan, like so many others have, we LGBT folk should embrace her and bring her back into the light. Or maybe the papers are right: Maybe her lesbianism was nothing more than just a publicity-driven phase, and therefore not deserving of our attention, and perhaps Lohan, the girl who once dazzled us in The Parent Trap, truly is beyond repair. That would be a shame. She had so much queer potential. Just a little thing I had on my mind…