You may or may not have heard of the internet hubbub surrounding the photos of the wedding of Michael Cole Smith and Jamil Smith Cole. They were married on Sept. 13 in Minneapolis. Afterward, they uploaded their wedding photos to Facebook. And then someone downloaded from there . . . .
Summed up: There has been a whole lot of venomous and homophobic ridicule heaped on this couple because of Jamil’s hair. Because the wedding was extravagant. Because it was between two men. And over the past few days, in addition to the usual homophobic straight nastiness, a number of gay bloggers made sure to take their own jabs at the couple. (I’m not going to name names or create links because it’s pointless to do so.)
I could go on for pages and pages about how I feel about gay people attacking other gay people for being “too gay.” I’ve written about it before. But, honestly, now matter how many times I come across it, it still shocks me when I read ostensibly humorous anti-gay posts written by gay people.
Here’s the thing. A straight black woman working at Morehouse College, the only black all-male college in the country, was fired for writing this email about the wedding photos of Michael Cole Smith and Jamil Smith Cole:
I can’t believe this wedding. It’s 2 men. They don’t smile in a lot of pictures and they look like a few brothers I’ve seen in the streets looking STRAGHT. Black women can’t get a break, either our men want another man, a white woman (or other nationality that’s light with straight hair), they are locked up in jail or have a “use to be” fatal disease. I’m beginning to believe Eve was a black woman and we Black women are paying for all the world’s sins through her actions (eating the apple).
Sure, it’s uncomfortable reading, but certainly not the worst thing that could have been written. Still, she was fired from her job because Morehouse College has a no-tolerance policy on discrimination.
But, apparently, that same standard of no-tolerance is not self-applied to a number of gay bloggers.
I have to wonder if any of the nasty homophobic comments written by those gay bloggers about this gay couple’s wedding would have been written if one of the newlyweds had been female. Or if they both had been white.
And what does that say about us and our demands for equality?
1. October 2009 at 7:46 pm
I’ve always said it: one of the biggest enemies of gay people is….gay people. How do you expect everyone else to take you seriously, fight alongside you about equal rights and accept you without any sort of discrimination/intolerance if you yourself continue, heck, LOVE to attack and derided other gay people, and why? Because they aren’t what? fabulous? fierce? straight-acting enough? dragqueens/kings? If gay people can’t or won’t change, the rest isn’t going to either and continue to discriminate against you because, well you do it to yourself so it must be okay.
And William, you are totally right about this being BECAUSE they were black, it isn’t any secret that racism is rampant in gay culture as much as straight. How many ridiculous Palm Springs gay weddings pics do you not see all the time where the grooms wore silly customes, looking like disco or leather glittery balls and no one ever says any nasty comments because the grooms were white?
The fight for equality and acceptance needs to start within.
1. October 2009 at 9:57 pm
This is a heartbreaking story on so many levels. I hope this couple finds comfort and support enough from family and friends to get through this cruelty.
That so much venom comes from within the gay community saddens me, but doesn’t surprise me.
2. October 2009 at 12:39 am
I think their hair looks fine. I do hope they’re of the proper “forget what other people think” mind-set and are too busy enjoying their cake and honeymoon to care about bloggers (who most likely aren’t married…).
In fact, I barely even noticed their hair as I was too busy trying to decipher that coat… I want one.
True, I’m a giant glam-rock loving comic nerd and I want it because it looks like the wardrobe offspring of Movie-Magneto and Maxwell Demon… so it might not be a compliment to other people that I like the coat.