AFA’s Bryan Fischer: If Homosexuality Were Illegal Utopia Could Be Ours!

This would be completely awesome if it came from The Onion. But since it came from American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer it’s, well, it’s still awesome but also creepy.

Okay, so, over the past few days Fischer has written a few posts trying to explain what he really means when he says that gays are like drug addicts and should be forced into conversion therapy. Or prison. Fischer is afraid his words are being misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misappropriated, so he’s written another post to clear everything up once and for all.

In this new post, “If homosexuality were against the law“, he rhapsodizes, in bullet points, about the Utopian world of 1962 we could all live in if only homosexuality were illegal:

Think for a moment of the current social controversies that could potentially be avoided if homosexual conduct was still against the law.

Gays in the military: problem solved. We shouldn’t make a place for habitual felons in the armed forces. End of discussion, end of controversy. If someone objects, ask them which other felonies the military ought to overlook in screening recruits.

Gay marriage: problem solved. We should never legalize unions between any two people when the union is forged specifically to engage in felony behavior. Would we sanction, for instance, the formation of a corporation whose stated purpose was to import illegal drugs?

Gay indoctrination in the schools: problem solved. We don’t want to raise a generation of schoolchildren to believe that felony behavior is perfectly appropriate. That’s why we spend so much money warning students about the danger of drugs.

Hate crimes laws: problem solved. We wouldn’t throw a pastor in jail for saying that illegal behavior is not only illegal but also immoral. For instance, he’s free to say that murder is not only contrary to man’s law but also to God’s law. End of the threat to freedom of religion and speech.

Special rights for homosexuals in the workplace: problem solved. No employer should be forced to hire admitted felons to work for him. End of the threat to freedom of religion and freedom of association in the marketplace.

This list could actually be extended, but you get the point. Laws not only curb dangerous and risky behavior, they keep such behavior from being normalized, sanctioned and endorsed by the rest of society, and as such render an enormous benefit to a healthy culture.

The promos for the old movie “American Graffiti” asked the question, “Where were you in ’62?” If the same question were asked about the United States, we’d have to answer: in a much better, saner and healthier place when it comes to criminal sexual conduct.

It’s so unfair! Homosexuality always messes everything up! We can’t drag race! Or go to a drive-in! Or wear poodle skirts! Or even hang out with The Fonz! And that’s what I hate the gays . . . .

In very related news, Bryan Fischer was on Alan Colmes radio show. Colmes said Fischer is one of the most oily and slipper guests he’s ever had.

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One Response to “AFA’s Bryan Fischer: If Homosexuality Were Illegal Utopia Could Be Ours!”

  1. Disgusted American
    February 5, 2010 at 10:47 am #

    ahh in his world – 1962 ..blacks are still inferior to whites….thats what he really misses…when white men truly ruled. what a pig this guy is..another one who needs a kick in the teeth.

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